I just shared a post on Facebook by a friend from our days in the Peace Corps together. My friend writes about his frustrations with the ignorance of Floridians in regards to Covid-19. He lives in Florida, poor guy. His post is long, but I only fell asleep twice reading it. Admittedly, I did skim the parts about missing his daughter’s gymnastics class and his wife’s dress and shoe sizes, which is fascinating because his wife is 3’10”, but it didn’t really have anything to do with the subject.
Here is why I’m worried about what my friend sez. Facts about Florida: 1) The average age is 126 (source: Fox News) and I’m personally closing that gap; 2) they have no indoor mask mandate; 3) They have a decent vaccination percentage of 48.68%; 4) They just set a record for the number of new Covid cases at 21,000; and, 5) Governor DeSantis failed to graduate from the second grade (source: New York Times).
My conclusion as a retired scientist and a proponent of empiricism (unlike many Floridians), is: If Florida is any indication of where we are going as a country and if Governor DeSantis is going to be our next president, I’m buying a ticket NOW on the Goin’ ta Hell Express. Why? I am a geriatric wimp; I HATE suffering; I pass out whenever I even think about childbirth.
For those of you who believe in salvation, know this: God will not be able to save us, regardless how many lightning bolts he rains down on DeSantis and other Republican miscreant leaders. BUT WAIT A MINUTE, Caleb Dressel might be able to step in and do the job. Granted, he’s the eye candy that God is, but Caleb is from Florida, and this should give us all cause to scrunch up our foreheads and put a finger to our lips and try very, very hard to think. Remember what it was like? Look at the picture of Gov DeSantis to get an idea because he’s trying to think about the presidency and where are they going to bury everyone in Florida with such a high water table. Hmmmm………Florida, DeSantis, God, Caleb, salvation, Hell, Auntie Em……….