Yesterday, I received a comment, posted on this blog, from a very good friend regarding the Scared Shitless essay. His concerns are justified in regards the last paragraph, which I quote below:
“So, how do I bring this painful essay to a close and release you to make something of your day. Vote, tell everyone you know over 18 to vote, leave threatening messages in Republican neighbors mailboxes (or contact my oldest daughter who has a HS history of blowing up mailboxes with dry ice bombs), get free internet instructions on making car bombs and use them on known Trumpeters before Nov 3. If you live in any of the swing states, do what your budget will allow with fence-sitters: get them drunk, invite them to dinner, buy them a new car, etc. I live in Idaho so my plan is skip voting.”
My friend’s comment regarding that paragraph was as follows:
“Promoting threatening messages, and low budget violence, even in jest, does not invoke tasteful humor visions in my mind. Sorry, you can and usually do, better. Also, your vote on 3 Nov can include many choices for people other than the orange haired creepy-crawly one. Don’t neglect this event.”
He is correct. I am wrong to assume that people that read this blog, possibly many I don’t even know, will understand and accept my style of bizarre humor. But, as my friend points out, what I’ve written is not funny, even quite possibly to people who know me well.
Consequently, I have revised that post. But in my defense, I am not going to let him off that easily, and responded essentially as follows:
“My point is not necessarily always to make people happy and to laugh. As a matter of fact, I don’t mind at all stirring things up and Trump supporters need to be stirred up……a lot. They seem to have no clue as to what is at stake. Trump should have been run out of town by the Republican wimps in Congress and incarcerated for life a long time ago. He has damaged this country in four years possibly beyond repair and four more years of him would make repair impossible. My opinion. It would take so long that climate change and pandemics (since we don’t seem to be learning very fast as to the potency of either) would have an irreversible stranglehold on our future and possibly the future of the world. This says to me that we are leaving our future up to fate and not grasping what that means. A climate change-pandemic cocktail will guarantee that our future will be a nightmare beyond comprehension.
The mere facts that: a) hackers and voting fraud can decide who our president, or any president of a democracy, is going to be; b) a pandemic can destroy a country that allows its administration to flounder for MONTHS without a national pandemic plan; c) the U.S. allows selfish bozos to hold Covid-19 parties and disregard lockdown procedures because they are deluded into believing they are patriots following the First Amendment; and d) a president can drag out his presidency long after he has lost the election (Venezuela?) and hole up in the White House with his stormtroopers is proof enough for me that we a seriously floundering democracy and four more years of Trump would drown us.
If being a “true” democracy means that stores are not mandated to follow the lead that Costco has taken and basically say that if you don’t wear a mask then you can shop elsewhere, then I don’t get it. It has already been proven that lockdown works beyond doubt, and Covid-19 should eventually suffocate if we all follow the rules. No exceptions. If we don’t, we could possibly perpetuate Covid-19 indefinitely, thus destroying our economy, our education system, our morale, basically our country, not to mention killing millions. Our Constitution is becoming a farce and “for the common good” means nothing anymore. As it is said, “It will be every man for himself.” Is Mad Max riding back into town?
Since my posting yesterday, Scared Shitless, I have been besieged with phone calls, texts, emails, tweets, FB comments, and anonymous mailbox threats from relatives, friends and people I don’t even know, demanding that I issue a formal apology for my infantilism regarding bodily functions. I’ve even heard from half-siblings my father never told me about, and my grandsons telling me that they are sending back the bicycles and guns I’ve given them over the years. I’ve even been told by other Greegors that they are going to change their names if I don’t at least publish under a pseudo-name. Even my daughter’s dog, a black lab named Ryder, whom I love dearly, won’t go on walks with me anymore. And get this: he is, as the veterinarians call it, a confirmed fecalphile with potentially lethal breath.
Ryder and twin sister, Sprout
In all seriousness, I apologize. I’ve always appreciated the individual who invented the methodology: “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.” As my wife will tell you, this has been my M.O. for 30 years but she will also tell you that it hasn’t worked with her for at least 3 decades.
Being serious for once, I plan to do the following to defeat Trump and I suggest you do the same. I’m going to:
Vote. Even though I live in Idaho, the reddest state since records have been kept, I am not only going to vote I am going mail in several hundred ballots and take my chances that cheating will work as the POTUS sez;
Ignore the media. Their wild scenarios of Trump’s plans to lie, cheat and steal the election only stir up fear. Trump’s threats to not leave the office until he has served 10 terms, he can’t get orange wigs anymore and Melania runs off with Mike Pence will no longer phase me, nor should they you;
Verbally attack conservatives and Republicans everywhere. Masked and from at least 6 feet away (so I can run), in restrooms, at restaurants, at stop lights from my car or on the corner, wherever they exist, I’m going for the jugular. I plan to remind them of their stupidity. I am going to take the risk it might further confirm their convictions that liberals are all nut jobs;
Call Democrats. From a phone bank or home if banks aren’t allowed, I plan to embarrass Democrats, if necessary, into voting; and finally,
Leave the country if Trump wins—if possible. So many friends have said that is their plan too, that I worry about U.S. refugees overwhelming other countries, all having sane citizens, being terrified that we might tip their sanity-insanity balance in the negative direction. They might even build walls around their countries?? For example, consider any of the Scandinavian countries, Canada, New Zealand, Bali, Shangri-La, or any country that has a $100 or less defense budget and gotten rid of Covid-19 months ago. If you were a citizen in any of those countries, would you want to start seeing, “Iwannagetcovid19”parties on your beaches and “Gestapo & Teargas” rallies in your capitals?
I would guess that the dominant nightmare for liberals these days is that Trump could rise from the ashes of his presidency, his personality, his ratings and manage to repeat 2016 and win (aka, cheat) in November. I’m certainly worried and bug friends and family hourly with the question, “Do ya think that flaming asshole could pull it off?” And usually, like my wife and close friends, they just roll their eyes, again, and not answer or walk out of the room. Worried, yes, but I’m not scared shitless.
Scared shitless is defined by Webster as having 2 criteria: a) spending a minimum of 50% of any 24-hour period “Driving the White Bus;” and b) Wearing SNL brand “Oops I Crapped My Pants” or “Inflatable Fright Pants” (see cartoon) when you don’t have access to a White Bus.
The only time I remember fulfilling Webster’s definition was in high school as a mediocre to bad wrestler and realizing that I was going to wrestle the state champion that week. Wrestlers frequently have trouble making their weight and spend a lot of time in rubber suits, guzzling Miralax, and eating a box of Super-Colon Blow every morning (see SNL, Phil Hartman skit). In addition to sprints to the Bus at home, during class, at practice that week, I lay awake sweating all night, so no weight problema for me that week. As luck would have it, my opponent looked at my record and the record of the guy in the weight class above me and decided to “wrestle up” as the vernacular goes. I still lost but I didn’t give a shit.
I started to read all the articles about how Trump could steal the election and there are 100s of ways from disguising himself as a little old lady named Donna Bump with orange hair leaving bombs in all ballot boxes in Massachusetts (No 1. liberal state) to drugging Biden before their debate to appear more sluggish than normal or even wasted on Duff beer. Trump might even be able to bribe Biden to take Pence as his VP candidate and Trump would get Elizabeth Warren or David Duke as his VP choice.
Some historians claim that Trump’s legacy will place him in a hot contest with James Buchanan as the worst president ever. The “leader of the free world,” is a term still used today, coined sometime around WWII, according to my sources, which means nothing now, but if it did, to use it in reference to Trump would not only be hysterical but also disgusting.
The Pied Piper was a REAL leader. One version of the Pied Piper says he led all the children either into the Weser River in Germany or to Transylvania. I’m not sure which would be worse. The children of the U.S. would never fall for that, but Trump’s base just might.He has convincingly demonstrated that he might be able to lead the hypnotized-lobotomized (2fer1) rats in Washington into the Potomac. I can envision now the Senate Republican leadership lead by Mike “Just throw me a puppy biscuit” Pence, Mitch “Gobble, gobble” McConnell, Lindsay “Ya’ll come now, hear” Graham, and Joni “God is my copilot” Ernst, etc. heading for the riva chanting “Whites Shall Overcome,” all the way. Mitch “Gobble, gobble” would still have his head pointing skyward, waiting for rain.
I’m not scared shitless but I am mad shitless. I’m angry with my fellow Americans, which includes a few friends, that so many alleged “thinking” people could support a racist, sexist, misogynist, liar, idiotic, carrot-topped narcissist. If they believe that supporting Trump doesn’t really mean that they condone or have any of those traits themselves, then they need to think again. Somehow they don’t seem to get it that another four years of Trump doing his damnedest to give the world, whether intentionally or through stupidity, the result is the same, the exhilarating experience of a nuclear winter, or a mega-pandemic, or a climate meltdown or all of the above. They have failed to connect the dots because if they do, they lead to the same result, which is a bit apocalyptic.
The toughest part of dealing with Trumpomania is having to lie to our kids when they come home from school, crying, and ask, “Freddy says that our president is a bad man and does naughty things to women and that he is not a good role model for us kids. Is that true? You always told me that his wife is the model.” To put the kids out of their misery, it would be best to call in the Pied Piper and have him deal with those really knotty parental questions.
Melania. What a beautiful lady even with that permanent look of hate for her orange mate. You have got to give Melania a lot of credit for sharing the bed with Mike, even though Mike sleeps at the foot, making loud noise gnawing on his puppy bone. Who knows if Melania even sleeps in the White House? If she does, I would bet it is because she has a pre-nup that provides her with a King Arthur top-o-the-line model chastity belt (razor sharp guillotine) and a chain mail full-length armor nightgown. I’ll bet she ain’t scared shitless!
2020. Earth weeps, a biologist weeps. I am 77 and a long-retired biologist, husband and grandfather of the Seattle 3, three little male rugrats, ages 8 and 6 (twins). I will not live to see how this Earth drama plays out, but my descendants will. We are condemning the Seattle 3, your grandchildren and their grandchildren ad infinitum, to a painful ride with massive casualties and climate refugees moving all over the world, rich and poor alike, unquestionably well into the 22nd century and quite likely well beyond.
But, in my opinion, the bigger crime is the loss of millions upon millions of species to extinction, innocent victims of our greed and ignorance. Equally as heinous is the loss of the joys of future generations to be able to experience as I have, these very species in all their beauty and diversity.
Seattle 3
After millennia of being spoiled riding this gorgeous blue-green marble, all species are ill-prepared for a future unfit for cockroaches and sewer rats. My favorite climatologist, James Hansen, a world authority on Venus, in his best-selling book, The Storms of My Grandchildren, prophesied the wild possibility of Earth becoming another Venus with surface temperatures in excess of 800 F. with all water and ice boiled away. There is one advantage to this improbable planet Venth(?), the viruses we have for politicians that keep getting re-elected like a recurrent nightmare, would be vaporized.
Why Do I Weep?
In his book, Hansen weeps for his grandchildren and what they are going to miss. As a biologist, what do I weep for besides my own Seattle 3?
I weep for those millions of existing species that currently give us so much incredible beauty, diversity and evolutionary wonder as they one-by-one pass out of existence.
I weep for what future generations (including my 2 daughters & The Seattle 3) will miss by not seeing the Earth, a beautiful beast, in its semi-natural state, and what I was fortunate to capture by its tail and hang on, back in the mid-60s (see Conclusion). Global ecosystems like coral reefs, tropical rainforests, glaciers, the Arctic Ocean, Antarctic ice sheets, and coastal mangrove swamps started to radically, and visually, unravel around 2000. Before then, I visited paradises from the Galapagos Islands to Antarctica to he New Zealand Lake Central Otago lake district before ecotourism was all the rage.
I weep for those species extinct long before they are due for extinction. All species have, or will, become extinct. But, as in the case of some tropical frogs, in one generation? Horseshoe crabs, the gingko tree, and coelacanth fish—living fossils—are examples of evolutionary marvels having already been on Earth essentially unchanged for millions of years. And it’s OK to sentence them to extinction in a handful of years?
Horseshoe Crab
Gingko TreeCoelacanth fish
The coelacanth was thought to have gone extinct 65 million years ago with the dinosaurs. After surviving the deep ocean environment (2300 ft.) essentially unchanged for 400 million years, they could go extinct due in a few years, in part, to climate change. They are collateral damage in our war against Earth.
I weep because I and millions of others won’t see a pristine Great Barrier Reef and the Eucalyptus & Gum forests of Australia, replete with koala bears and wombats or the snows of Kilimanjaro.
Elizabeth Kolbert wrote in The Sixth Extinction, in 2014, the five previous extinctions could be considered geologically abrupt, especially 65 million years ago at the end of the Cretaceous Period, 75% of Earth’s species went extinct including the dinosaurs, most within days after a massive meteor struck north of the Yucatan Peninsula. The strike caused immediate climate change. The difference between then and now is the human factor. Unlike then, now we can control the outcome, and unless you believe, as 41% of goofy Americans apparently do, that Fred Flintstone rode Brontos, a Brontosaurus to work (Peter Moore, YouGov, June 18, 2015). I would like to believe that we can avert an ending such as described in her final chapter entitled “The Thing with Feathers.” That chapter is like reading a global death sentence. I quote Kolbert as writing (p. 267), “………we, too, will eventually be undone by our ‘transformation of the ecological landscape.’”
To Slow the Tidal Wave of Earth’s Tears
Quit thinking climate is the enemy. The real enemy are the charlatans who would have you believe that we are not to blame for climate change, those discussed in #2 and #3.
Understand Climate. Climate, as rainfall and sunshine, is a healer and an ally. The media and our ignorance have made it an adversary. We don’t understand climate and why it is changing. Weather, we “feel” because it affects us every second, 24/7, and it can feel radically different in a second, e.g. a cloudburst. Climate is the long-term average of weather, which may change subtly every year, e.g. heat. Extreme weather events may last only minutes or days but often creates historic catastrophes, e.g., Hurricanes Katrina, Superstorms Sandy, and Australian wildfires. Extreme weather events are manifestations of climate change. Media meteorologists should take the time to help us understand the differences between weather, climate, extreme weather events and climate change. They are in front of us every day and have no excuse to not spend a few minutes teaching.
Beware of economists, Republican politicians, Wall Street , the Koch Brothers and any obstructionists and deniers of the truth of science. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing, perpetrating the myth usually through ignorance or stupidity that economics (“THE ECONOMY”) is a stand-alone science. The environment, ecosystems, raw resources, etc., in their own jargon, are simply externalities. A healthy ecology is not only not an externality, it is the very heart and an essential ingredient of a healthy economy. That complicates their over-simplification of an economic system that is truncated and independent of ecological systems. They sucker us into believing that we, the human race, in reality, are 7+ billion Captain Americas, Batwomen, Black Panthers, and their Superhero allies. In reality, we are Antmen in a giant colony. Simply players.
Beware of organized religion. We need to drop the biblical curse that preaches that humans have dominion and domination over Earth. Take your pick. We have neither for the same reasons stated above; we are components. Dominion implies that God made us the stewards, the caretakers of Earth and all life within. Domination implies that God gave us the Earth and the beasts within solely for man’s goals.
Become knowledgeable and get involved. Adults and children can follow together the life cycle of an endangered species and their status globally. Almost all endangered species have funding possibilities (see World Wildlife Fund) and volunteer support for habitat restoration
Support a proactive group that advocates a sustainable Earth. Virtually any environmental organization from Sierra Club to Green Peace support a sustainable Earth.
Modify lifestyles to reduce our overall national ecological foot print. Do anything that helps reduce the use of fossil fuel: fund or use alternative sources of energy, walk, bike, take the train or bus, eat less meat, etc. This helps our morale and our global image.
Elect politicians who are in touch with reality. Too many Neros fiddling in Washington while the world burns. Pre-election quizzes should be given to all Congressional candidates to determine if their knowledge goes deeper than re-election fund-raising. Republican congressmen and their tycoon base do not understand or ignore the close dependency of their precious investments and healthy ecosystems. They are notorious for not funding and defunding environmental legislation while Democrats are typically the opposite.
Support common sense legislation that places a price on burning fossil fuels and offers incentives for clean, renewable energy. Currently in Congress, H.R. 763, Energy Innovation and Carbon Dividend Act 2019, enthusiastically supported by Citizens Climate Lobby, is a first step to reducing CO2 levels. Surprisingly, this bill is appealing because it IS bipartisan.
Prepare for genuine sacrifice (as opposed to not wearing your mask) for the common good. The future will not be a time for narcissistic individualism over community, as we are seeing now in the Proud to be Selfish self-named, phony, “patriots” today (see post, American Pride, date). They wouldn’t know a patriot if it jumped up and took a chunk out of their ass. Their alleged thinking now is that by ignoring the “inconvenience” of observing lockdown procedures, they are tough ‘Merikans and expressing individual rights, never mind how many others you might kill in the process. In contrast, during WWII we saw major sacrifices of food, gas and coal for the good of the war effort. 12,000 Londoners died after the war because they were burning sulfurous coal instead of good coal which had been sold to pay for war debts.
Conclusion
2020. Earth weeps, a biologist weeps. And I have been silently and unknowingly weeping, but not tears of sadness but of joy since those days that began in the summer of 1965, 55 years ago when I really began my study of life and the lives of other species. When I woke up and decided to become a biologist instead of a physician probably because of a few college classes in Oxford, Ohio. The turning point probably happened in August of that summer, two weeks before I was supposed to enter Ohio State Medical School when I walked over to the OSU Zoology Department and took the last teaching assistantship available for that fall. I probably became aware without my awareness, of how beautiful other creatures were besides women and my focus shifted ever so slightly from birds and bees to trees and bees and I started taking botany and entomology classes.
The next summer,1966, the door of biology, in all its splendor and diversity, opened for me as it could nowhere else in the world, and I found myself on a four-month paleo-ecological expedition to the Galapagos Islands. What place could a biologist better launch their career than the epicenter of evolution? At that time, and in the decade following, I reveled in the splendor of life and what Earth had to offer. The Galapagos Islands is a hard act to follow but I didn’t sit idle. I lived for months to years places that I’d only dreamed about—Antarctica, New Zealand, and Argentina—researching, observing, and journaling.
And now I find myself weeping those same silent tears of joy at having had the opportunity to enjoy experiencing all that I have over the last half-century. Those tears of joy are mixed with tears of mourning for the losses of the millions of species during that period. There are occasional rays of hope that warm me; hope that dramatic actions could leave enough extant, intact biological communities of species, damaged but surviving, to save a faltering biosphere. And maybe those species that have vanished will eventually be replaced in millions of years by new ones as beautiful and diverse as their ancestors.
The human-caused extinction crisis is a tragedy beyond sad, but I, along with millions of others, are trying to slow the runaway extinction train. The reasons I’ve stated above, but the rationale, As Kim Stanley Robinson, the futurist writer, wrote “There is No Planet B. There is absolutely no alternative to maintaining life on Earth.”
I would add that there is an alternative and that alternative is to send Earth, possibly a sentient super-organism and evolutionary integrated marvel, down a path that condemns it and all its parts, to a very real facsimile of Hell. Of course, we won’t be around to experience that which is unfortunate. because maybe that image would jellify us enough to step up and accept our role and play our final hand differently.
As I said at the beginning, the crime that towers above all the rest, given the horrible suffering we will bring to our own species, is the loss of millions upon millions of species to extinction. They are the innocent victims of our greed and ignorance as are our descendents, who may never know the joys that life brings to those who truly share and love this Earth. Who knows? Weeping doesn’t have to be permanent.
